5 Word Film Reviews

It has been a long time since I last posted some 5 word reviews but I thought I would start it up again. There may be spoilers.

Deliverance: Nightmare canoe trip with banjos - PaulaDauncey

Star Trek: Very good but not great - CaptArschkarte

The Day the Earth Stood Still: It should have kept moving - lenimandell

An Amercian Crime: Definitely not Juno, Keener great - UncompletedWork

Groundhog Day: Same Same Same Same Different - cultlabs

Pet Sematary 2: Worst film made bar Waterworld - allthingshorror

X-Men Origins: Wolverine: Bad Past, Avenge Past, Forget - Hollywood_Trey

Sex & the City: Five undead women eat shoes - cultlabs

Role Models: Mentoring screw-ups with heart - lenimandell

Superman Returns: Superman perfect & everything else wrong - DVDsnapshot

Goodfellas: Pasta plus Cocaine equals jail - cultlabs

Twilight: Wow, Sunlight doesn't kill us - Hollywood_Trey

Crank: High Voltage - Spaz electrocutes himself, kills Chinese - CinemaSuicide

Memento: Boy kills girl, doesn't remember - moviegrrl

Perfect Storm: Rock the boat and swim - cybeam1

If you have any you want to share send them over.

Thanks to all the people on Twitter who sent me their reviews.

Leave a comment on this post below.

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5 Word Reviews

Some 5 Word Reviews from a load of people. If you have any email them to me.

Daniel
Kung Fu Panda - Fat Panda saves the day - 9/10

Paul
Jaws - big fish eats people, grrrrr - 10/10
Pale Rider - horses, guns, cigars, tunes, Eastwood - 8/10
Oceans 11 - poor mans Goodfellas, good gadgets - 7/10
Platoon - untouchable Nam movie, very harsh - 10/10
Apocalypse Now - hunt for drug-addled cottonwool-stuffed Brando - 9/10
Jacobs Ladder - intense-trippery, beware of flashbacks! - 8/10
Porkys - the original bawdy teen movie - 6/10
The Blues Brothers - shades, songs, chases and chuckles - 6/10
Hulk (Ang Lee) - intensely disappointing, very slow, yawnville - 4/10 (btw, is Ang Lee the Chinese subtitle?)
Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon - lightweight kung-fu movie, overrated, yawnville - 5/10
The Dirty Dozen - stick it to the Nazi's - 5/10
Starship Troopers - high ammo usage, in space /10
X-Men - really enjoyable Marvel Mutant mayhem - 8/10
Leon - neglected classic, Gary Oldman excels - 9/10
The Fifth Element - Bruce Willis in space-taxi yarn - 7/10
Akira - The Undisputed GodFather Of Manga - 10/10
Ghost in the Shell - mondern Manga with cutting edge - 8/10
Ring - original good, remake bad, spooksville - 7/10
Army of Darkness - comic horror, funny gory romp - 6/10
300 - blood, swords, sandles. seriously bloody - 8/10
Sin City - beautifully visual film noir. excellent - 10/10
Pulp Fiction - gimp bums big black baddie - 10/10
Jackie Brown - absorbing and clevery constructed. long - 7/10
Lethal Weapon - dross 80's american cop movie - 4/10
Caddyshack - angry golf-playing beaver gets 'Chevy-Chased' - 6/10 - submitted by 'other' phil (PD)
Ghostbusters - Giant Marshmellow gets uber toasted - 8/10
Jason & the Argonauts - Mythical Greek Hero kicks ass - 7/10 - other phil (PD)
Pretty Woman - street whore becomes posh whore - 0/10
Witness - bearded blokes chased by Solo - 2/10
D.A.R.Y.L. - Jonny Nemonic's Dad steals plane - 8/10 (ps, i'm sure he did steal a plane!)

Alan S
The Phantom - 2/10 - "Zane is poor man's Batman"
A.I. - 4/10 - "Spielberg's warped vision of future"
Jaws - 9.5/10 - "Spielberg triumph that terrorised millions"

Del
A.I. - Please, please, please, please finish, 2/10
Jaws - dont go into the water 8/10

Discuss in the forum.

A funny thing happened.....

We now have a forum. That's right True Believer's. You asked for it you got it. Now you can discuss all the news, reviews and other things to your heart's content. Did you agree with Alan S's review of Episode 1 and 2? Do you think Outlander looks great or a big pile of Viking poo? Is Chisholm the hardest man in movies? All this and more is now at your fingertips.

Feel free to start any topic if the review you want to talk about isn't up yet.

Want more? Well how about a chance to discuss your favourite or worst film of all time? There is also the never ending movie script. Basically, you read the previous parts of it then write the next part. That should keep you going for now. Any suggestions for other forums or topics let me know.

Discuss in the forum.

5 Word Reviews

Chris
Monty Python and the Holy Grail - 8 /10 The knights who say 'ni'
The Lawnmower Man - 4 /10 Great at time, crap now
Blood Diamond - 9 /10 DeCaprios Best Performance to Date
Cypher - 7.5 /10 Amnesia, espionage, giant cigar tubes!
A Knight's Tale - 8 /10 Medieval modern day comedy romance!?
Phone Booth - 6 /10 Colin Farrel in a box

Paul
Clockwork Orange - violent, pacey, queer, classical, alright - 6/10
The Dark Crystal - Dark Henson breeds Kermit Killers - 7/10
The Bone Collector - surprisingly good, poor mans Seven - 6/10
Fargo - timeless masterpiece set in snow - 8/10
Top Gun - bit gay, nice planes - 8/10

Alan S
Clockwork Orange - 8/10 - "Bit of the old Ultra-violence"
The Dark Crystal - 7/10 - "Jim Henson's finest hour"
The Bone Collector - 6/10 - "Quadraplegic Washington instructs rookie Jolie"
Fargo - 9/10 - "Modern day classic - with snow"
Top Gun - 5/10 - "A chick flick for guys"
Hostel - 7/10 - "Never go back packing alone!"
The Fast and the Furious - 2/10 - "Chewing gum for the eyes"
Napoleon Dynamite - 8/10 - "Surreally funny - Vote for Pedro!"
Monty Python and the Holy Grail - 9/10 - "Arthurian tale with a surreal twist"
A Knight's Tale - 4/10 "Jousting to a Queen-esque soundtrack"
Phone Booth - 7/10 - "Crackling with tension; claustrophobic situation"

Andy D
Monty Python and the Holy Grail - L.M.F.A.O. 9/10

Rich
Holy Grail – Bloodthirsty Bunnies in Arthurian Antics 9/10
Lawnmower Man – Before-Bond Brosnan’s Binary Bore. 2/10

5 Word Reviews

From Chisholm:
The Shining - 8/10 - Some shine and some don't
Spartacus - 8/10 - The Blockbuster of its day
Pitch Black - 6/10 - better than I was expecting
Monsters Inc - 7/10 - Fun for the whole family
Hellboy - 11/10 - suck it 10/10 fan boys
The Punisher - 6/10 - great when it gets going

From Rich:
The Shining - 8/10 - All work and no play...
Pitch Black - 5/10 - Myopic Muscleman in Mediocre Monsterfest.
Monsters Inc - 7/10 - Animated Antics in Imaginary Industry.
Bad Taste - 6/10 - Spoon - Brain. Brain - Spoon. Yum.

From Andy D:
Pitch Black - Quality sci-fi, thinking mans aliens - 8/10
Monsters Inc - enjoyable as a one off - 6/10
Hellboy - average: lets the comic down - 5/10
Bad Taste - A hint in the name? - 8/10

From Del:
Hellboy - 6/10 - Big Red Monster Kicks Ass

5 Word Reviews

O Brother Where Art Thou? - 8/10 - Homers' Odyssey with redneck fugitives. AD
The Unforgiven – 9/10 – Geriatric cowboy’s poignant final yeeha. DT
The Matrix – 8/10 – Fast-paced slow-motion masterpiece. DT
The Minority Report - 7.5/10 - Decent intelligent enjoyable sci-fi romp. AD
Airplane! - 8/10 - The original and best "Nielson". AD
Saving Private Ryan - 8/10 - Massively realised and brilliantly executed. AD
Iron Man - 9/10 - Perfectly paced and loads of fun. AD
Wizard of Oz - 7/10 Flying monkeys and melting witches! AD
Saving Private Ryan - 8/10 - GOOD FIRST TWENTY FIVE MINUTES. DE
A History of Violence - 9/10 - DONT MESS WITH COFFEE SHOPS. DE
Airplane! - 9/10 - TOO MANY JOKES IT HURTS. DE

5 Word Reviews

Yes, I know some of these are only 4 words!

Toy Story - 10/10 - Genre defining animated kids classic. RR

Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom - 8/10 - Whip cracking classic adventure. PS

Jumper - 5/10 - Matrix-lite with angstridden bullied teenagers. AD

Karate Kid - 7/10 - Bullied boy comes good. PS

Batman Begins - 8/10 - A dark worthy opener. PS

Toy Story - 7/10 - Genre defining, caters for adults. AD

Star Wars: The Phantom Menace - 4/10 - Genre destroying, sick burn for adults. AD

Mars Attacks - 8/10 - Hilarious retro alien invasion tom-foolery. AD

5 Word Reviews

The Fountain - 6/10 - Weird tear jerker. Very emotive.

Cinderella Man - 9/10 - A punchy fairy godmotherless movie

Spider-Man - 6/10 - Tame introduction to Marvel legend

Atonement - 8/10 - Strangely depicted but surprisingly captivating

Into the Wild - 10/10 - Journey of discovery, never forgotten

Catherine

5 Word Reviews

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull - 3/10 – Was this an Indy spoof?
Transformers - 5/10 – Eye candy but little more!
Schindler's List - 9/10 – It doesn’t get much better!
Enter the Dragon - 8/10 – Long live the classic fu-films!
Terminator - 8/10 – Who needs green screens!

Chisholm